"Internet dating has leveled the playing field between extroverts and introverts," says life coach and author Amy Bonaccorso. "Many times people like someone who is introverted, except for the fact that they are introverted. Accepting this person or exactly who they are and how they are is the key to everything working."In the past, an extrovert would be the life of the party and get the dates, but now, an introvert can impress someone with their excellent communication skills over email before meeting in person."Introverts are so hot right now, don't you agree? They will not be the life of the party, a social butterfly, or an amazing group conversationalist.It took only a few weeks of this before I realized that dating was taking its toll and that I was becoming bad at it — failing to respond to texts and messages in a timely manner, rushing through dates with people I felt little connection with and, eventually finding myself leaving all of my dates with a nagging desire for the solace of my quiet apartment.That was when I realized that I was doing it all wrong, that I was tapping out and turning inward because I was jogging at an extrovert’s pace, even though I'm an introvert.I like going out and about but I need time to recharge between activities—especially social ones. If your introvert needs to be left alone, trust and respect that."They just need to recharge and will come around when no longer socially exhausted," says Alisha Kirchoff, a university administrator in Campaign-Urbana, Illinois. "Understand that being an introvert is about where your loved one draws their energy and strength. Stay close at parties."I feel most alone in crowds, large gatherings, or parties," says Grace V.Small talk can be exhausting and I'd rather have more meaningful, comfortable conversations with close friends." Don't force your introvert into a whirlwind weekend of one social obligation after another. They can be a real people person and still need time to themselves to recharge and process. "My best relationships were with people who understood this and stayed close and attentive so I don't feel so lost in the swarm." Bill Corbett, Connecticut-based speaker and author of , explains.If you’re questioning whether it’s worth meeting someone in person (a blind date or online date, for instance), then schedule a phone call. Avoid burnout at the outset by being both choosy and true to yourself. Use this to your advantage and ask questions that are geared to determining whether your date is the right fit for you.Susan Cain, author of , said that “Relationships make everyone happier, introverts included, but think quality over quantity.”4. I went on a few dates with someone I was intensely attracted to and with whom I had great chemistry, but upon his admission after the fifth date that he wasn’t a good communicator I realized it probably wasn’t the best fit for me.
So long as they understand your need for recharging and downtime and you respect their need for significant social interaction, the introvert-extrovert pairing can be a very complementary combination.So I reassessed my dating approach to better align with my energy levels and need for depth over breadth.Here are some tips for avoiding the dating drain and staying true to your introverted self.1. But introverts specifically can be thought of as having minds like an onion: to gain access to those inner layers requires significant peeling, done with sensitivity and patience.I like reading a book or doing my own activity but prefer to do it in the quiet company of my boyfriend."5. Give an introvert extra time to process a conflict."While most people, whether introverted or extroverted, tend to avoid emotional conflict, introverts as a group will need more time to process the emotional aspects and will tend to delay responding until they feel ready to reply," says Marc Miller, Ph.
Never embarrass an introvert in public."I am an introvert and would be horrified by a marriage proposal on the jumbo screen at a ballpark," says Bonaccorso. D., a psychologist and communication coach in Plainview, New York.
"Groups of people, especially large ones, drain the energy from an introvert.